I heard a saying recently: "The top of every mountain is the bottom of the next". While I am unsure of the source, to me, this concise statement vividly shows life's voyage as a sequence of peaks and valleys, victories intertwined with new hurdles, and the certainty of enduring hardship. This perspective starkly contrasts with the prevalent modern mindset that seeks to evade discomfort, offense, and difficulty, striving instead for a life of continuous ease and happiness—a "hedonic treadmill."
Ancient Wisdom: Embracing Hardship as Growth
Ancient philosophies and teachings across various cultures have long emphasized the inevitability and value of hard times. The Greeks revered the trials of their heroes, who faced immense adversities to achieve greatness. Stoicism, a school of Hellenistic philosophy, teaches that hardship is a necessary component of life and that enduring it with virtue builds character and wisdom. Similarly, in Eastern philosophies, such as Buddhism, suffering (dukkha) is acknowledged as an intrinsic part of life, with the path to enlightenment involving the acceptance and understanding of suffering rather than its avoidance.
This wisdom is echoed in the Christian Bible. In the book of James, chapter 1, verses 2-4, it is written: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
These teachings reflect a deep-seated recognition that personal growth and resilience are forged in the crucible of adversity. Just as a sailor cannot become skilled on calm seas, an individual cannot develop strength, wisdom, and resilience without facing and overcoming life's inevitable challenges. This ancient wisdom promotes the idea that hardship is not only unavoidable but essential for personal development.
The Modern Pursuit of Comfort
Contrasting this ancient perspective is the modern ideal of a life devoid of hardship. In contemporary society, the pervasive notion that we must shield ourselves from discomfort and pain at all costs feeds into the concept of the "hedonic treadmill." This is evident in various aspects of life, from the proliferation of instant gratification technologies and government policies, to the rise of "safe spaces" aimed at protecting individuals from distressing ideas or experiences.
While the intention behind this pursuit of comfort is often rooted in compassion and the desire to promote well-being, it can inadvertently lead to significant psychological distress. When we constantly strive to avoid hard times, difficulties, and heartbreak, we find ourselves on a hedonic treadmill—where temporary gains in happiness are quickly normalized, leaving us perpetually dissatisfied. This cycle deprives us of the opportunity to develop the resilience and coping mechanisms needed to navigate life's inevitable challenges.
The Psychological Cost of Avoiding Hardship
Avoiding hardship can lead to a fragile sense of self and an inability to cope with "real life" adversity. This phenomenon, often referred to as "helicopter parenting" in the context of child-rearing, results in children who are less resilient and more prone to anxiety and depression. When individuals are not exposed to challenges, they do not develop the necessary skills to handle stress and setbacks, leading to a lower threshold for emotional distress.
Furthermore, the pursuit of perpetual comfort can create a paradoxical increase in anxiety. The fear of encountering hardship becomes a source of constant worry, as individuals are ill-prepared to face the inevitable difficulties of life and relationships. This can lead to a cycle of avoidance and heightened sensitivity to stress/people, where even minor setbacks feel overwhelming.
Finding Balance: Integrating Ancient Wisdom with Modern Life
To navigate the complexities of modern life while honoring the wisdom of the ancients, we must strike a balance between seeking comfort and embracing real-life challenges. It is essential to recognize that hardship is not an aberration but a natural part of the human experience. By accepting this reality, we can cultivate resilience and prepare ourselves to face life's inevitable ups and downs. Research and studies have shown that going through hard times can have positive effects on individuals' mental health and well-being. One study from the University of Wisconsin Health highlights that up to 70% of people experience positive psychological growth from difficult times, leading to a deeper sense of self, purpose, and resilience (source: UW Health).
One practical approach is to adopt a mindset of growth and learning, viewing challenges as opportunities for development rather than threats to our well-being. This can be achieved through practices such as mindfulness, which encourages acceptance and presence in the face of difficulty, and by fostering environments that encourage safe yet challenging experiences (of the many responsibilities as a parent this is one). Additionally, research published by Mental Health America suggests that individuals who spend time reflecting or writing about difficult events may experience improved health, reduced depression, enhanced academic performance, and increased employability (source: Mental Health America).
Ultimately, the voyage through life is much like scaling a series of mountains. Each summit we reach is both an accomplishment and a new starting point, leading us to the next peak. By coming to terms with this old time wisdom and integrating it into our modern lives, we can develop the resilience and strength needed to navigate the heights and depths of our existence, finding fulfillment not in the absence of hardship but in our capacity to overcome it. Besides, this is the essence of every great story, so embrace yours and consider the potential benefits of facing challenges and adversity in promoting personal growth, relational improvement, and improved overall well-being.
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