The Move That Broke Her: What We Are Really Carrying When Life Falls Apart
- Eddie Eccker, MS, LMFT
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
Moving is supposed to be simple. Box your belongings. Tape the seams. Load the truck.
But anyone who has ever moved knows this: the boxes are not the hard part.
It is everything those boxes touch — memory, identity, regret, grief, hope, fear — that breaks us open - or our backs.
I sat with Julie, someone I have known for years and someone whose growth has been hard-won, to talk about what really happened during the season her life collapsed. Divorce. Job loss. Parenting alone. ADHD. Anxiety. Rheumatoid arthritis. More moves than anyone should ever have to endure.
In 2018, it all collided at once. She had to pack an entire house alone while her life was falling apart.
She did not move because she wanted to. She moved because the ground underneath her gave way, and standing still was not an option.
Moving is not just a logistical event. It is an emotional reckoning. And, I'm sure many of you can relate!
Moving Is Not the Stressor. It Is the Mirror.
We like to pretend moving is about stuff.
Rooms. Furniture. Timelines. Logistics.
However, moving has a significant impact on our identity.
When you uproot a life, everything buried beneath your routines (your coping strategies, old wounds, and frozen grief) starts leaking out of the seams.
Julie’s story is the perfect example of that.
On paper it was just a move.
In reality, she was standing in the ruins of a life she never wanted to rebuild alone.
A divorce she did not want, because who actually wants divorce?
A job she was not sure she belonged in.
Kids watching her hold it together with packing tape, caffeine, and whatever emotional strength she had left.
And then there was her body.
Her rheumatoid arthritis flaring. Her thumb swelling aggressively after workouts. A reminder that stress does not just live in the mind. It shows up in the joints, the muscles, the nervous system, and all the other faculties trying to carry more than they should.
And of course, there was the house.
The one she thought she would grow old in.
The one she had to pack alone, because life does not pause to give you the emotional space you deserve.
Closets filled with emotional landmines. Drawers full of memories. Piles of “I will deal with this later.”
This is the part of moving no one warns you about.
You are not just sorting objects.
You are sorting versions of yourself.
It is no surprise we freeze.
We procrastinate.
We shut down.
We avoid.
We fall apart.
Moving does not ask, “Where does this go?”
It asks, “Who were you when you bought this? Who are you now? Who are you becoming?”
Those are brutal questions when life is falling apart.
Why Moving Breaks Us (and What Julie’s Story Teaches About Change)
1. Moving steals the illusion of control
Julie tried to control anything she could — boxes, timelines, tasks — because everything else felt uncontrollable.
This is what humans do. When the internal world becomes chaotic, we cling to the external.
But moving dismantles control.
You cannot predict how long packing will take.
You cannot predict which memories will surface.
You cannot predict the moment you collapse on the kitchen floor, surrounded by half-filled boxes, realizing you do not have the energy to start over.
If we're honest, we can see that losing control is not failure, but just part of being human.
2. Decision fatigue is real and overwhelming
Julie’s exhaustion came not from lifting boxes but from deciding.
Thousands of decisions.
Keep or toss.
Donate or store.
Pack this now or later.
Each decision cost emotional energy she did not have.
If you have ever been through divorce, job loss, or grief, you know there is a point where the next decision, any decision, feels impossible.
Moving exposes how tired we already are.
3. ADHD, overwhelm, and shame often travel together
Julie talked openly about how ADHD made everything harder.
Transitions freeze the brain.
Tasks grow in size.
Shame piles up in the corners like clutter.
ADHD is not the problem.
The shame attached to it is.
Struggling does not mean you are failing.
It means you are human.
4. Anxiety responds not to logic but to loss
For many its not just "the packing," it feels like you're losing everything.
This is why anxiety spikes during moves.
Your nervous system senses threat long before your mind understands the story.
Even a good move interrupts ritual, familiarity, and safety.
Change is always emotional before it is practical.
5. Asking for help is often what saves us
The real turning point was not when Julie pushed harder.
It was when she stopped pretending she could do it alone.
She called the movers.
They did not just show up with a truck.
They showed up for a human being at the end of herself.
Letting someone else carry the load became the hinge between collapse and renewal.
6. Grief hides in your belongings
Every object is a breadcrumb trail back to who you were.
Julie found things she did not want to confront:
Anniversary cards.
Artifacts from seasons she outgrew.
Evidence of promises that did not survive.
This is the real weight of moving.
Not the furniture.
The memories.
Of course, the body shuts down.
Of course, the mind spins.
Of course, the drawer that “should” take ten minutes takes three hours.
Moving forces us to face everything we have been avoiding.
7. Humor and breakdown often live side by side
One of the most human moments in Julie’s story was the metal beam incident.
Exhausted, overwhelmed, and done, she ran over a metal beam in the U-Haul lot.
Someone yelled at her.
She snapped.
Not because she is unkind.
Because she had nothing left.
When life stretches us thin, we crack.
And sometimes that crack becomes the catalyst for change.
Ownership
If you are in a season of transition, surrounded by boxes you do not want to open and memories you do not want to face, here is the truth Julie’s story offers:
You are not weak for feeling overwhelmed. You are human.
Ask for help before you break, not after.
Listen to your resistance. It is telling the truth about something.
Let the move be a mirror, not a verdict.
Let humor interrupt the heaviness whenever it can.
Moving is not just about what you pack.
It is about who you become in the process.
And if you are looking for real, practical support during a move, reach out to Bailey’s Moving & Storage. They understand the emotional side of transition, not just the logistics, and they show up for people the way others showed up for Julie.
Bailey's website: Bailey’s Moving and Storage | Moving Company in Colorado and Utah
The article link: Why Rent, Workforce Trends, and Aging are Shaping Local Moving in CO
Bailey's YouTube: BaileysMoving - YouTube
Quick shout-out to our affiliate, Nootropic Depot, their products are legitimately top-tier and worth every penny (the saffron especially is 🔥). If you’ve heard me raving about saffron lately, this is the exact one I keep talking about.
Click the link below and go get some!
Comments